After I wrote those words, I stared at what I had just written and I said, "Lord, what kind of a plan do you have in this? Who is this baby, and why did you bring me to his grave? Why do I feel such a terrible sadness? Where are all of these tortured children that I heard screaming? Why all the memories of my childhood? Why did I see those flowers in such brilliance? What are you saying to me?
I was stunned by the events of the past couple of hours, and I just had to find out all of the answers to these questions. I knew that the Lord was right there with me... I felt His presence in that room. I almost was an observer as those words were scribbled on that paper in just a matter of minutes, but who was Little Baby No Name? Then there was a knock on the bedroom door, and Joy walked in. She came up to the bed that I was sitting on, put her arm around me and said,
"I know that something happened between you and Jesus this morning. I don't want to interrupt you, but Carol Wood called and said she was on her way over. She said that God told her to bring something to you right away. She sounded very determined, and what ever is happening right now, I feel she is being sent here to you for a reason."
We looked up, and there was my friend Carol standing at the door. I had not seen her in a few years. She came up to me and hugged me, and then she said, "God came to me this morning about an hour ago, and He told me to pull out a book from my library. He said, "Bring this to Penny. Tell her to read page seven." She looked very solemn, not the crazy, happy Carol I was accustomed to seeing. I took the book from her and read the title, "The Ministry Of Angels." The author was Gordon Lindsey. It had been written several years ago. I opened the book to page seven, and I gasped as I saw the title of the page... "God's Garden In Heaven"
We read that chapter together. The book talked about a vision that a woman by the name of Marietta Davis had as she was taken up to heaven for several days. On page seven she gave her account about babies and little children in heaven in such a beautiful way! She said that when a child dies they are taken to one of the most magnificent gardens you can ever imagine, and an angel is assigned to that child as he or she grows in heaven. She went on to describe the most beautiful place; the vibrant colors, and the details of God caring for these little ones. I was over taken by emotion, and I started crying as I looked down at what I had just written, and all that I had experienced in the past couple of hours just overwhelmed me! I handed the scribbled words to Joy, and she tried her best to read them. "I saw a glimpse of the garden," I sobbed. " Joy read aloud, "Like the flowers you saw near the road there's a garden there in my abode where this little one grows beautiful and free." "Oh, Penny!" she exclaimed. 'You were there!" "I saw a glimpse of it," I said. I can't describe the colors. They are so beautiful! I just... I just can't describe it," I said.
As Joy read the words we all sat there crying. We all felt the Holy Spirit in that room, and we knew that we were on holy ground. Even the number seven on the page cried out to us because we all knew that seven is God's number. It was June 7th. It was overwhelming ... all of it! I struggled to tell them my story. Joy told me that our friend had called her earlier to see if I had come back to the house. She told her that she had seen me on the road. "She's been with Jesus! I really don't think her feet were touching the ground!" she told Joy. "I don't know if she heard a word I said to her when I pulled up. I felt the presence of God so strongly that I could hardly take it!" She told Joy that she could hardly drive home. "I remember talking to her for a few minutes,"I said," but I could hardly speak. I don't know what is happening to me, but He said I will never be the same. I know that. Something has just happened that is changing the course of my life, but I don't know what it is, I said as the tears streamed down my face.
"There is more, I said, as I felt my body tremble. "I heard babies screaming in that cemetery. It was horrific! Their cries encompassed me. They went to the very core of my soul. I was in that cemetery with so many little children buried there, but these cries were from children that were being tortured somewhere! I have to find them!" I cried. Why did He let me hear this? Where could they be? Why is that little nameless baby so significant to God after so many years? He's probably been dead for a hundred years!" I said, shaking my head. I felt totally drained. We all prayed. "God will put it all together for you," Carol said in that reassuring voice of hers. Joy hugged me again in that wonderful motherly way that she is so known for, and they knew that I needed to be alone. The door shut behind them, and I was alone and ready to hear what was coming next.
"Pick up your guitar." The words came minutes after they left. "Ok," I said. "Sing it," he said softly. I am a song writer, but I have never sat down and just sang a melody in minutes. I looked at words in front of me, and I sang them from beginning to end. I always work on lyrics and melody lines for hours; sometimes for days. This was a supernatural experience. I had no recorder to record the melody, but I knew that there was no way I would ever forget it. I was in Nashville, and the music sounded Nashville. Even the course of my music was about to change, as if to constantly remind me that this place was to be forever engraved in my spirit. I went out in the kitchen and I asked Joy if our friend, Tony, and her husband still had a band. "Yes, I think they still play," she said, as she headed toward the phone. "Tell them we need to get together as soon as possible. We need to record a song." Within a couple of hours we were set up and ready to record.
" I had an experience with the Lord today," I said, as I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes. "I can't explain this because I really don't know what is happening to me right now. I just need to sing this for you, and we need to record it. They all nodded, and I picked up my guitar and prayed that God would help me get through this. As I started to sing we could feel God in the room. They all started to cry. I somehow got through it, and we sat there in silence.
"That is so beautiful," Tony said, as she openly wept. "I lost a baby years ago. I have grieved for that baby for so many years. Somehow the Lord just brought healing to me in those words." She got up and hugged me. "It was like God came down and took years of grief off of me as you sang! Thank you," she said. "Thank you, Jesus!" she shouted.
"There is a garden where your baby grew. My sisters were there as well. I lost two babies, and they are also there," I said, as the realization of that struck me like lightning. There is a multitude of children there. It's vibrant and so beautiful..." my words faded as I was taken back to the sight of those flowers. "How do you know about the garden?" Tony asked, as her tears continued to spill from her eyes. " I was there," I said. I remember taking a deep breath, and I went on."There are other children somewhere. They are dying a horrible death." My hands began to shake, and I could hear those screams in a distance as I spoke. There are thousands of them. They are suffering terribly. I have to find them!" I put my face in my hands and sobbed. "I heard them today! I don't know where they are!" Everyone was in tears, and we began to pray.
There was healing that day on June 7, 1982. Healing for Tony, and healing for me. There was grief that day. We all felt it for the children that were dying somewhere. Children that God cared about. He allowed me to hear their cries so that I could help them. But where were these babies? I left Nashville with that question tormenting me. I left with the scribbled words and a recording of a new song. A song that would change my life and the lives of so many in the future. I left there with the knowledge that there are ministering angels in heaven that care for children growing in God's garden. I left there knowing that Tony and I would be reunited with our little ones one day, and I smiled as I thought of what my mother's face must have looked like when she entered those gates and saw her two beautiful "flowers," Donna Mae and Sharon Lee. As I boarded my plane, I knew that there were ministering angels all around me, and that I had only begun this journey that would become a trail of tears.
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