In the beginning....

I know people wonder how I ever got involved in such a life of pain and war.  I have been asked that question over and over in the past 30 years. When I am asked about this call to the war on children I always find myself taking a deep breath.  June 7, 1982, started as a beautiful morning in Nashville, Tennessee, but by mid day I would have my destiny changed forever.

I was visiting my good friends, Joy and Roger Wills.  We had been close friends when Harry and I lived in Nashville, and I felt a need to return for a time of fellowship with my friends. The day after I arrived at Joy's home I woke up early, and as I opened my eyes, I felt a strong presence of the  Lord. As I sat up I heard a soft whisper in my spirit, "Come away with me."  I quickly got dressed and quietly headed for the door. I had my hand on the door knob to go outside, and Joy's voice stopped me.
"Where are you headed so early in the morning?"
 Her sweet southern voice startled me.
"I'm going for a walk," I answered.
"Hold on, and I'll get my shoes on and go with you."
I couldn't believe what I heard myself saying as I replied, "Joy, I have to go alone."
She had a knowing look on her face and said, "I know that God is up to something. You go on.  I'll be praying." She waved her hand to send me on my way.

Joy and Roger lived in the country, and it was just a lovely place.  I walked off their property on to the road and started walking.  Suddenly I noticed the wildflowers growing beside the road.  They were stunning!
 "Lord, they are so vibrant and beautiful!," I exclaimed out loud.  "I've never seen anything so beautiful!"
I was overcome by those colors.  They didn't look like anything I had ever seen! As I traveled down the road about a 1/2 mile I saw a little white church in front of me.  Suddenly I was taken back to my childhood to a little church in Robbinsdale, Minnesota.  A church where I had been baptized when I was four years old.  I suddenly remembered that pastor pouring water over my head. I saw that day like a flash back in my mind.  I saw every detail!
"Lord, why am I remembering this?" I said out loud.  I saw my mother and father's faces standing there with me in front of that little church.  My mom had died when I was fifteen years old, and it was as if we were there together again way back in time. A strange feeling swept over me, and I knew that God was doing something in my life. Then a flashback of on old baby buggy being pushed by my mother through a small town came before me. I saw an old drug store, and other store fronts.  There was a little girl in that old buggy, and I knew it was me.  I felt tears running down my face .
"What is this?" I whispered.
I wanted to hold on to those  pictures.  I had not seen my mother's face for twenty-one years.

I walked across the street into the church yard, and I felt myself being pulled to the back of the church. There was an old cemetery behind the church, and I started to walk through it as I glanced at the stones.
Many of the stones dated back a hundred years or more.  I was fascinated as I read those stones.
"Lord, does anyone ever remember these people? Have they just faded away like the flowers?"
I began to notice many stones the represented the graves of children.  The more I read the more shocked I became at how many children were buried in this little cemetery. My mother and father had lost two little girls in death.  Donna Mae was five years old, and Sharon Lee was two and a half. Suddenly I felt the grief that my parents must have felt.
"Why so many children, Lord?" I said out loud.  "This is so terribly sad!"
Again I felt tears streaming down my face at the sight of all these stones placed over the bodies of little ones.  How broken hearted their parents must have been as they walked away from this place and left these little lives behind.

Suddenly I tripped over something, and I almost fell.  It jared me back to reality. I looked down and saw a little stone all by itself in the middle of that cemetery.  It had one word written on it; "Baby"
Not Baby Smith or Baby Jones; No first or last name, no date, just "Baby."  There was no headstone that represented a family any where near it.  It sat there all alone. I knelt down and began to rub my hand over the stone.
"Who put this baby here with no name, and no date of his birth or death?" I asked,  as I began to weep.
" Didn't he even deserve a name?" I asked, feeling an anger rise up in me that he had been left here nameless and alone.
"Didn't his life matter to anyone?"
 I began to weep and mourn as if I had lost my own child.  In the back of my mind I knew that something strange was happening to me out there, but what was God showing me?

 Then in a distance I heard babies crying.  No, babies screaming.  I turned my head as if to hear better, but then the sound became closer and closer.  Then it was as if they were all around me... screaming children.  Thousands of wailing voices in my ears!  Cries of horror!  I remember putting my hands over my ears to block it out.
" I can't take this!" I cried.  "Who is this baby, and where are these cries coming from?  What are you doing?  What is happening to me?" I sobbed.
"I was there," I heard a soft voice speak in my ear.  I knew it was the voice of Jesus.
"Where?"  "What is this?" I was sobbing uncontrollably, and I got up and ran out of that place of death.

As I reached the church I remember looking back, and I felt a strong hand on my left shoulder.
"Don't run from this!  I'm putting a new anointing on your life, your music, and your ministry.  Mark this day... June 7, 1982.  You will never be the same!"
I felt His presence all over me, and it was as if I was no longer walking alone, but in the company of many.  I didn't know what was happening to me.  Suddenly a car was stopping next to me.  I was so caught up I didn't see it coming.  She was a friend of Joy's, and we had met before I left Nashville.
"Penny! Where have you been?  I saw you walking down the street, and I swear it looked like your feet were not even touching the ground!  Oh, I feel God all  over the place! You've been with Jesus!"
"Yes," I said, as if in a fog.  "I can't talk about it." I just started walking down the road and left her there.

I walked in to Joy's house, and she was in the kitchen.  I didn't even look at her.  I just kept walking to my room.  Her eyes followed me, and I heard her say, "You've been with Jesus!" I closed the door behind me a fell across the bed and cried.
"Who was that baby? " I sobbed. "Where are those tortured children?  There must be thousands of them!" I cried out to God. "If you allowed me to hear their cries, you must want me to find them!" I shouted.

"Write!"  I heard Him say.

I grabbed a notebook off of my night stand, and I could hardly keep up as the words as they flew across the page.

I walked along a country road, and I saw a little church.  It reminded me of when I was a child.
And I saw the lovely flowers that grew there near the road so free and wild.
And it was like a gentle breeze that drew me to that little cemetery; lives had faded into memories.
Then I tripped upon a little stone, so small and standing all alone with just one single word inscribed, "Baby."
Then I knelt beside that little stone, and the tears fell down my face, and I felt a holy presence there with me;
And He said I had to bring you to the baby with no name that you might see.
I formed this child on my hand; though he never grew to be a man, his life is so significant to me;
And like the flowers you saw near the road there's a garden there in my abode where this little one grows beautiful and free.

Little Baby No Name; I know your life was not in vain.
Though your mama's heart was broke in two, The Father had a plan for you.

As I turned from there and headed home I glanced back at that little stone,
I knew that I would never be the same.
And I thought of all those little ones their mom and daddy's never had a chance to name.
But one day when they see Jesus He will take them to His garden and pick up a little flower growing there;
And with a name that only God could give He'll call the child to its mama, and the fragrance of God's love will fill the air.  

Little Baby No Name I know your life was not in vain.
Though your mama's heart was broke in two, the Father had a plan for you.
Copyright ASCAP 1982)

to be continued....